is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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