My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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