I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
a search helicopter?!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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