The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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