She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize