I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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