i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize