boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
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I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
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When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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