Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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