Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
