It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
