turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize