At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
...so i touched it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
