so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
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you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
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THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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