community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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