Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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