have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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