I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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