Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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