i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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