if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
