found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I FOUND THE LEGS
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize