im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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