She said her name was "party"
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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