So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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