i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
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Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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