Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
