If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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