I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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