The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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