i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we made out on top of his cat.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
