I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize