Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize