i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Girls should come with a carfax report
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.