I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night