Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!