Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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