I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize