the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
