I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
