So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We have started to decorate penises.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize