just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
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He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
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As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...