I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize