she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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