Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore

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  (513): i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore http://tfl.nu/1wm1
  Replies (42) Good night (935) Bad night (4213)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.

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  (757): It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean. http://tfl.nu/z8cg
  Replies (22) Good night (751) Bad night (4662)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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  (206): He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go. http://tfl.nu/rhri
  Replies (13) Good night (2186) Bad night (3673)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.

  (1-818): View more from California

  And this was for your brother's Christening?

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  (818): It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons. (1-818): And this was for your brother's Christening? http://tfl.nu/dxaq
  Replies (9) Good night (3665) Bad night (858)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.

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  (850): I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain. http://tfl.nu/8aml
  Replies (12) Good night (5758) Bad night (1208)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?

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  (304): Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps? http://tfl.nu/jolf
  Replies (13) Good night (4318) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.

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  (513): I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem. http://tfl.nu/o14u
  Replies (6) Good night (932) Bad night (1900)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.

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  (+27): I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/8fby
  Replies (7) Good night (831) Bad night (1247)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?

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  (772): I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have? http://tfl.nu/a8zx
  Replies (14) Good night (1663) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.

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  (540): THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW. http://tfl.nu/zij5
  Replies (24) Good night (1154) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.

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  (314): I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling. http://tfl.nu/0c6k
  Replies (6) Good night (899) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.

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  (304): Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am. http://tfl.nu/u695
  Replies (3) Good night (321) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.

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  (214): I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet. http://tfl.nu/p5x6
  Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.

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  (508): just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing. http://tfl.nu/syuf
  Replies (3) Good night (393) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?

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  (315): We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like? http://tfl.nu/ue3p
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (184)

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