Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
