Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
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i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.