Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me

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  (415): Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me http://tfl.nu/bq34
  Replies (20) Good night (1212) Bad night (4515)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie

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  (513): This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie http://tfl.nu/0ykf
  Replies (30) Good night (4003) Bad night (607)
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  (650): View more from California

  last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'

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  (650): last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.' http://tfl.nu/3iza
  Replies (16) Good night (5472) Bad night (1224)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.

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  (781): No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you. http://tfl.nu/cz2r
  Replies (11) Good night (4473) Bad night (981)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.

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  (647): Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever. http://tfl.nu/jdwu
  Replies (13) Good night (707) Bad night (2133)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.

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  (905): i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth. http://tfl.nu/negs
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (879)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members

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  (217): this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members http://tfl.nu/t6b5
  Replies (9) Good night (492) Bad night (872)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Life is too short to have fake orgasms.

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  (412): Life is too short to have fake orgasms. http://tfl.nu/1oh4
  Replies (14) Good night (2816) Bad night (549)
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  (818): View more from California

  I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol

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  (818): I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol http://tfl.nu/sihy
  Replies (6) Good night (1313) Bad night (437)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED

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  (507): THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED http://tfl.nu/xpsw
  Replies (10) Good night (573) Bad night (1325)
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  (657): View more from California

  He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.

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  (657): He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option. http://tfl.nu/oidb
  Replies (8) Good night (1978) Bad night (754)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013

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  (337): There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013 http://tfl.nu/22ta
  Replies (4) Good night (643) Bad night (528)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Kings cup with teenagers tonight

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Done deal

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  (303): Kings cup with teenagers tonight (1-303): Done deal http://tfl.nu/i22o
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (302)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.

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  (787): Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move. http://tfl.nu/dnyd
  Replies (8) Good night (256) Bad night (634)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot

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  (207): he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot http://tfl.nu/t6zb
  Replies (2) Good night (212) Bad night (569)

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