That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
