Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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