Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize