some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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