come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
