I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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