the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize